Explosions Aren't All They're Cracked up to Be
by Shinku Quickman
Summary: ((episodic)) This is a crossover between Crashman (Megaman) and Deidara (Naruto), with a recurring character being Quickman. ART IS AN EXPLOSION, MOTHERFUCKER!


_**This fanfic was a DeviantArt request by Eye-Of-Deidara and it is QUITE. FUCKING. LONG. Or it will be, when completed. So hold on to your asses.**_

"CRASH! HURRY UP, THE GUYS WON'T WAIT ANY LONGER!" Metalman yelled at Crashman through his bedroom door as Crash stared outside the window at the beautiful Thursday night sky. His head resting on his drills. He got up and opened his door - a pretty fucking hard feat for someone with no hands - and sighed.

"I don't want to go..." He stated flatly.

"H-Huh? You're not coming? Suit yourself, no-hands." Metal teased as he, Flash, Air and Quickman left. Crash sighed. And wondered what it would be like to have hands. He left and took a different path from the other Masters, towards the park. He just wanted to be alone. And that's how it usually was. Apart from Quickman and Bubbleman, the others really didn't like him much and often teased him on his lack of hands. He hated that and he just wanted to feel important again. He sat down on a park bench. He just wante-

"Rough day?" A voice said behind him.

"-HAAAAAANDS!" Crash lept out off the bench and turned to the figure.

"Relaaaaax, Crash. It's me." And so it was. It was Deidara.

"D-Don't fucking SCARE me like that!"

Deidara laughed at Crash and jumped over the bench, then sitting down on it and chuckling.

"So, what's bothering you?" He asked.

"W-What does it matter to YOU, Deidara? Nothing is bothering me." Crash growled in response, sitting down next to Deidara and glaring at him. "And what are YOU doing here, anyway?"

"I saw you around and I followed you. You never come here unless you're angry." Crash's anger only seemed to make Deidara chuckle louder like an asshole. Crash gritted his teeth at him before calming down.

"My brothers hate me!" He cried out in frustration. "They just fucking HATE me!"

"Tell me somethin' that's new. You could probably force that Quick guy to be friends with you as you have his weakness, I hear." He laughed even-fucking-louder.

"Shut the hell up. Quickman's not the problem. In fact, he seems to be the one of two brothers I have that are actually nice to everyone. Including me, even." He sighed.

"So, who is it?"

"Have you not been listening, you idiot?!" He yelled.

"Alright, jeez..." Deidara tried to get him to just chill the fuck out.

"To top it off, these drills are useless...!"

"Do you think that's what they make fun of you for?"

"Not at fucking all." Crash mumbled.

"Hey, at least you have free exploisions 24/7! I gotta make that shit out of clay and I can run out, unlike you."

"At least you have HANDS, Deidara! Do you not fucking understand?! I'm so fucking impractical they might as well throw me in a construction site and make me live there! I'm useless!"

"No, you're not... I wish I had your cool abilities, man. They're awesome!" Deidara stood up and exclaimed.

"You're just saying that..." Crash crossed his arms and sighed.

...

...er, sorry, crossed his drills and sighed. Ahem.

"I'm not! Come on! You're a fuckin' ARTIST to me! And you should be proud of what you can do with those drills!"

"Pffft... I wish I had your hands..."

"I wish I had your drills! They'd make valuable tools in capturing Gaara!"

Crashman stood up and scoffed. This wasn't helping, no, not in the slightest.

"Fuck off. You're not helping." Crash mumbled.

"Look, we're friends, we both love explosion-"

"WOULD YOU STOP SAYING EXPLOSIONS?!" Crash screamed.

"..."

It went quiet after that. Deidara didn't really appreciate someone with the awesome abilities such as Crash had HATING HIMSELF for having them. Deidara would do anything to get those drills... but then, again, Crash would do anything to have some fucking HANDS. They stared at each other for a while, wondering if they were ever going to get what they wanted. Then Crash left without saying a word and Deidara did nothing to stop him. He just hoped they'd meet again soon.

"Wishes he had my drills... what a fucking joke..." He whispered to himself as he made the journey home. He glared at his cold drills as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. He hated himself and he hated the world. The only relief he got from this troubled life was blowin' shit up and not caring. Sadly, that... didn't exactly make people like him. And he didn't need assistance on being hated - there was a job that one Robot Master could easily step up to. Deidara was enough of an asshole in general, he didn't need this.

...

Except Deidara wasn't an asshole to him. Crash was so emotionally wrecked and he had to take it out on someone...

He mentally slapped himself. What was he fucking DOING?! He couldn't waste his time thinking about totally trivial matters. That wasn't what he was built for, goddamn it!

"For fuck's sake, I am so stup-" He was stopped by a familiar figure in his path. Arms crossed, boomerang high up on his head. Quickman stood there, looking unamused.

"...Crash...what are you doing?" He asked coldly.?

"Er..." Crash gulped. He wasn't supposed to go out. How long had it been for them to notice?! They were out, too... was he seen? He didn't understand.

"Craaaaash...you're keeping me waiting..." Quickman tapped his foot. "Listen, just tell me. You're lucky I'm not Airman or something or'd beat the living crap out of you. Just spill it."

"..."

At that point, Crash ran up to the taller Robot Master and wrapped his ar-... wrapped his drills around him, burying his face in Quick's neck and bursting into tears quietly.

"...C-Crash...?" Crash pulled back his head and looked up at Quick's concerned face. "W-What's the matter?" He asked.

"I-I'm h-hated b-by everyone, Q-Quick! I hate e-explosions so m-much and I hate m-myself a-and-" Quick put a finger on Crash lips and 'ssssshhhhhh'ed.

"Crash, you know that's not true. You may be hated by most of our brothers, but who cares? They're mostly assholes, anyway. You mean the fucking world to me, and I'm sure Bubs feels the same way. Stop hating yourself and love what you are. Art is an explosion, after all, as that guy you brought over to the Castle once said..." Quick smiled.

Crash kept silent. And through his tears, he managed to muster a smile for a short while before burying his face in Quick's neck and crying again. Quick just hugged him and stayed quiet, allowing him to cry on his shoulder. After about five minutes, the crying stopped. Crash pulled back from Quick and sniffled.

"Better?" Quick asked.

"Y-Yes..." He responded.

"Good. Now, come with me. Hopefully we can get you back before the others notice you're gone and beat you up." He picked Crash up and ran off with him to the Skull Castle.

"O-Oh!"

It was mere minutes when they reached their home again. Quick tried to be careful with Crash as they ran, being cautious with going too fast, Then again, going too slow would mean a beating later for Crash.

"Psst. Crash. Pretend you're asleep."

Obeying his older brother, he closed his eyes and pretended to be fast asleep as Quick walked through the Castle and... shit. He walked right into the others coming back from their night out.

"Quick? The hell you doing with Crash?! That little bastard went out alone again?!" Flash exclaimed.

"That little-" Air was stopped by Quick.

"N-No, I... er... just took him for a walk and he fell asleep while we were resting!" Quick tried to sound convincing. Then he left before the assholes could say or try anything.

"You owe me, Crash..." He mumbled before putting him down on his bed.

"Yeah. Thanks for that."

"You going to sleep or you want to come play some video games with me and Bubs?"

"I think I'm just going to sleep..."

"Alright. Night, lil bro." Quick flicked the light switch off as Crash got under the covers.

"Night, Quick."

Quick smiled and closed the door.

_All I wish for... is to have hands..._

_**And Crash will come to regret that soon. Next chapter, we look at what Deidara did when Crash left and HIS journey home! Then it's friday! Wait... friday... oh no. Anyways, thank you for reading, and as always, stay the fuck awesome.**_


End file.
